#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Limo

Down South Deluxe Transportation

Texas Limo thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze


Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge

Wheelbarrow Wheelies

Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge

Just Be Ugly

Ex-Benedict

Scubaru

Irish Handcuffs

Irish Flu Shots

Wee Shamrock

Irish Flood

Truck Art

Going Green for Ireland

Queen's Recent Visit to Ireland

Garage Watchdog