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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

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At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West


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