#1 humor site on the 'net

Secruity Parking Spot

In-secure sign a sign of poor secruity?

Secruity Parking Spot thanks to Lynne Wetherell

QuotaBills
Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


Hogwart's Other Bridge

Excalibutter

As The World Turns

Bird Condo

Legal Assistance For All

Chinese Law School

Do Not Stack

Stairway Chute

Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam