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Opinion Scale

Finding the perfect gift for her

Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”

Opinion Scale thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

Great is the height I must scale, but the prospect of glory gives me strength. - Propertius

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The two things that are going to make you a better baker without even trying are a scale and a thermometer in your oven. - Tom Douglas

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

The older one gets, the more one feels that the present must be enjoyed; it is a precious gift, comparable to a state of grace. - Marie Curie

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali


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