#1 humor site on the 'net

Nobody Is Above Suspicion At Customs

Always looking at the wrong end of things?

Nobody Is Above Suspicion At Customs thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

Customs dog sniffers always get their man / dog

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. - Guy Davenport

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. - E.B. White

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" - Steven Wright

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters

Camel Walkers

Head Path

Whiskey Jig