#1 humor site on the 'net

Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Best Man's last prank on the Groom

Help Me Before It's Too Late! thanks to Pierre Belleau, Quebec

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. - St. Augustine

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Outdoor Pool

Wedding Pound Cake

Fear Of Light

Maiden Rock Illusion

Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Noodle Art

Windows Scoreboard

Mummy Dogs

Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet

Media Bondage

Redneck ATV

Duct Tape - for a Prettier World

Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal