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Downtown Speeding

When not to speed with your dragster

Downtown Speeding thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Plodding wins the race. - Aesop

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! - David Farragut

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

I do not regard a broker as a member of the human race. - Honore de Balzac

The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race. - Susan Saint James

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. - Dan Quayle

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle I have hope for the human race. - H G Wells

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

In the Moscow Olympics, Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion's race. - David Coleman

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

All that separates... race, class, creed, or sex, is inhuman, and must be overcome. - Kate Sheppard

And where does the power come from to see the race to its end? It comes from within. - Eric Liddell

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. - H L Mencken

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A free Negro of the African race is not a 'citizen' within the meaning of the constitution of the United States. - Roger Taney

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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