#1 humor site on the 'net

Tree That's A Head Of Its Time

Keeping a close trim on the tree

Tree That's A Head Of Its Time thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Look at that face! - Donald Trump

Keep your heels, head, and standards high. - Unknown

Life is pharmaceutical from head to cuticle. - David McCord

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

His face was filled with broken commandments. - John Masefield

Be willing to access joy in the face of adversity. - C.W. Metcalf

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

One good head is better than a hundred strong hands. - Thomas Fuller

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

The fingers of your thoughts are molding your face ceaselessly. - Charles Reznikoff

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. - Groucho Marx

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. - Unknown

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

What you deny or ignore, you delay, What you accept and face, you conquer. - Robert Tew

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance. - Victor Borge

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

Like the crest of a peacock, so is mathematics at the head of all knowledge. - Indian Proverb

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. - George Carlin

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. - Groucho Marx

You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul. - George Bernard Shaw

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming. - A.A. Attanasio

If ignorance goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head. - Jim Hightower

You know what's got the world in the shape today? Buddah, the Pope, Marx and Lemons. - Archie Bunker

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape. - Bono

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. - Jesse Ventura

I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head. - Jack Nicklaus

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. - Mark Twain

Life is a classroom. Only those who are willing to be lifelong learners will move to the head of the class. - Zig Ziglar

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


Nose Hair? She needs a Barb-hair

Window Washers at a Children's Hospital

Spaghetti Digest

Ready Soon

iPhone Charger

Tube Travel

Redneck Tree Fort

OCD Guy

World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume