#1 humor site on the 'net

Milking Time On The Farm

Waiting For Hand-Outs

Milking Time On The Farm thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Overflow Truck Garden

New IRS Form

Flower Farm

Blind (Braille) Sudoku Puzzles B

Search and Rescue - Dry Run

Gene Wilder

Where Not To Fall A Tree

The Eye Of A Needle

Wagon Races

Pepper Face

Homeless Camper

30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries

Box Biker

Motorcycle Texting

Bieber Escape

Safety Last Motorcyclists

IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

X-Factor Sudoku Puzzles F

Fetch Stick

Corvette Suspension

Cat Woman and Rat Man

Slept On The Tire

Itchy Nose

Redneck Estate Sale