#1 humor site on the 'net

How Fast Were They Going?

When two vehicles won't yield to each other

How Fast Were They Going? thanks to Shane Kronebush

No - this isn’t the Joe-kster's motorcycle!

QuotaBills
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. - Unknown

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park his bike. - Spiro T. Agnew

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Playground Drivers

Trunk Drinkers

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf

Heavy Sleeper

So Close

Economy Flight

StandOut Island

Poor Fishing Day

Is Your Diaper Full?

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Moving Level Pro

Plain Plane School

Wireframe Dog

SUV Sinkhole

Wireless Doorbells Sitting On Their Chargers

Smoke Coolant

Front Row Seats