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Five Stages of a Female's Life

Are you growing up or slimming down?

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

1. To Grow Up

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

2. To Fill Out

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

3. To Slim Down

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

4. To Hold It In

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

5. To Heck with it...

QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Women would not be prostitutes if it were not for men. - Baroness Vickers

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


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