#1 humor site on the 'net

That's Not A Bagpipe!

Little Johnny solves the Scottish dilemma

That's Not A Bagpipe! thanks to Ken Milne

QuotaBills
Music is the shorthand of emotion. - Leo Tolstoy

Kind words are the music of the world. - F.W. Faber

Inspiration is remembering the future. - Unknown

Wagner's music is better than it sounds. - Mark Twain

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

I hate music - especially when it's played. - Jimmy Durante

The earth has its music for those who will listen. - George Santayana

You can't touch music, but music can touch you. - Mordecai

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. - Samuel Johnson

The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen. - August Rush

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

Yoga is almost like music in a way; there's no end to it. - Sting

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. - Unknown

When you've heard one bagpipe tune, you've heard them both. - Jack Finney

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. - Kin Hubbard

Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy. - Dierks Bentley

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't. - Simon Cowell

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. - E Y Harburg

It is simply my life, music. I live it, breathe it, talk with it. I am almost unconscious of it. - Arthur Rubinstein

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. - Frank Zappa

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be. - Horace Bushnell

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken


Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing