#1 humor site on the 'net

Little Dog with Big Aspirations

Sizing up the opportunity cost of not taking a leak

Little Dog with Big Aspirations thanks to Roy Taylor

The big fire hydrants fall easier

QuotaBills
Hope costs nothing. - Colette

Hope is a walking dream. - Aristotle

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Hope is a song in a weary throat. - Pauli Murray

Memories are interpreted like dreams. - Leo Longanesi

Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine. - Elvis Presley

Our aspirations are our possibilities. - Robert Browning

Happy Hauntings; and, pleasant dreams! - Peter James

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Hope is the last thing to abandon the unhappy. - Unknown

Hope - is not a feeling; it is something you do. - Katherine Paterson

Dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough. - Sir James M. Barrie

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. - Milton Berle

Sometimes I only hope to make a good popcorn movie. - Lou D. Phillips

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope. - Ovid

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. - Edgar Allen Poe

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope. - Ogden Nash

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of dreams. - Yiddish proverb

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Depression occurs when one looks back with no pride, and looks forward with no hope. - Robert Frost

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work. - Rita Mae Brown

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Don't let someone who gave up on their dreams, talk you out of going after yours. - Zig Ziglar

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

It is not necessary to hope in order to undertake, nor to succeed in order to persevere. - Charles the Bold

Hope is the anchor of the soul, the stimulus to action, and the incentive to achievement. - Unknown

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Take, if you must, this little bag of dreams. Unloose the cord, and they will wrap you round. - William Butler Yeats

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. - Edgar Allan Poe

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do things we don't even dream we can do. - Dale Carnegie

Courage will now be your best defence against the storm that is at hand - that and such hope as I bring. - JRR Tolkien

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

The moment of enlightenment is when a person's dreams of possibilities become images of probabilities. - Vic Braden

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us. - Dave Turner

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. - Joseph Addison

The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. - Stephen Ambrose

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside awakens. - Carl Jung

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true were really true, there would be little hope of advance. - Orville Wright

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself. - Cicero

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is. - Joseph Addison

Those who succeed have a clear, focused picture of their success. The level of success they attain matches the expansiveness of their dreams. - Marc Allen

Today, people struggle to find what's real. Everything has become so synthetic that a lot of people, all they want is to grasp onto hope. - Wyclef Jean

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.
I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em. - Will Rogers

I've never been able to grow an organ back," Lana said. "Last time I tried... Let's just hope you don't end up with whip eyes. - Michael Grant


American Mustache

Wedding Room Dress

Redneck TP

Big Bird Feeder

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters

Camel Walkers

Head Path