Expired Marriage

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller