#1 humor site on the 'net

Don't Drink And Climb

Watts You See is Watts You'll Get

Don't Drink And Climb thanks to Don McKelvy

QuotaBills
Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - Unknown

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Better Lawyer

Free Gas

Multi-Pilot Jet

Face Heater

Palestinian Security Check

Segway in Rural Norway

Quad Shot

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Basketball Car

No Muff Too Tough

Broken Potted Plant Art

Six Hunnit

Snow Detour

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Wurst-Case Scenario

Fish Hat

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Florida Sewer Rat

Redneck Water Fountain

Four Husbands

Ready To Leave

Ye Olde Simple Simon

Business In Front, Party In Back