#1 humor site on the 'net

Chocolate Math for 2019

Guessing your age through chocolate

Chocolate Math for 2019 thanks to Karen Moore

[This is pretty neat how it works out... DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST... It takes less than a minute... Work this out as you read... Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out...]

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (try for more than once but less than 10) ...

2. Multiply this number by 2 ...

3. Add 5 ...

4. Multiply it by 50. I'll wait while you get the calculator ...

5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1769 *; If you haven't, add 1768 *...

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born ...

You should have a three digit number ...

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e. how many times you want to have chocolate each week) ...

The next two numbers equal ...

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES IT IS!!!)

* Number dependent on Year
QuotaBills
Chocolate never faileth. - Annette Lyon

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

I'm not overweight, I'm chocolate enriched. - Unknown

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Math is like love - a simple idea but it can get complicated. - R. Drabek

Well, another day has passed and I didn't use Algebra once. - Unknown

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. - James Roy Newman

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

The 12-step chocolate program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! - Terry Moore

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Unknown

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of intelligence, mathematics or maps. - Christopher Columbus

Mathematics is distinguished from all other sciences except only ethics, in standing in no need of ethics. - Charles Peirce

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

The most painful thing about mathematics is how far away you are from being able to use it after you have learned it. - James Newman

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Amazingly when you add life and consciousness to the equation you can actually explain some of the biggest puzzles of science. - Robert Lanza

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

Risk and failure is a part of our equation, and if you are seeing too little failure, you are actually probably not taking enough risks. - Peter Barris

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson


Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year

Octostump

Poodle Power

Anyone Home?

Newfie Cab Driver - Can You Guess His Number?

Men In Kilts

iPhone Sushi

2 At A Time

Redneck House Move

Circle Of Fear

Busy Train

Kia vs Nokia

Redneck Potter's Wheel

Child Disarma-meant

Grandma Needs Help

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Cell Phone Book

It's Play Time!

Accurate Pie Chart

Chewing Gum Hazard

Paradise Reclaimed