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Future Corrections Officer

Where playground security takes bottom priority

Future Corrections Officer thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

The height of cleverness is to conceal it. - Duc de la Rochefoucauld

Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart. - Ruth Graham

Don't hide your scars. They make who you are. - Frank Sinatra

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. - Zora Neale Hurston

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. - Harry Banks

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein

It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

I have fallen in love with someone who is hiding inside of you. - Hafiz

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. - Aaron Levenstein

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

When you hide the bodies of the problems, that's how you eventually amass skeletons in your closet. - Faydra D. Fields

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell


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