#1 humor site on the 'net

Firemen's Revenge

Don't mess with the fire department

Firemen's Revenge thanks to Jacqui Graham

No Parking - Getting Hosed

QuotaBills
Add not fire to fire. - Greek proverb

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


Stereo Bike

Yoga in Palm Springs

Bartender Spill

Tetris Logger

Pigging Out in El Paso

Foot Care

Guitar Dog

Cutout Coin Silhouettes

Tree Tattoo

Alt-Ctrl-Del Pillows

Portable GPS

Australian Cyclist

Helicopter Cuts

Holland Bike Lane - For Pros Only

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Foosball for Girls

Youth Walk

Last Selfie

Broccoli Muffins

Get Along Shirt

Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller